so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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