Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
