do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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