Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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