i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
