so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize