I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
