I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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