my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
