My hand turned me down
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
