You really coming over, don't trick.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
