She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize