Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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