so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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