This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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