My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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