Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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