Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
