i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
