On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
