I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
