Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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