Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
