Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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