Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
