Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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