I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
