I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
