Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
