U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize