I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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