Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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