so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
