i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
