Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
