I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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