i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
