all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
