Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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