There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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