My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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