no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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