so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize