I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
