Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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