i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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