; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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