maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
