she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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