Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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