everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
