thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
