ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
