I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
