Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
