SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Randomize