So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
