yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
