his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
