Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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