I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We talked him into tasing himself.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
